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We were on the south side of the track so the sun was in our eyes all day. I had to make my own breakfast this morning. The frozen stuff Suzi made before she left was good but I left it out on the counter and it's all mushy. I mixed up some scrambled eggs, you can never go wrong with scrambled eggs. I sat down with the eggs and a cold one and started on my task list for the day. Mainly, it was sending emails out to about two dozen guys who wanted to fuck Suzi's ass on race weekend. I committed to some of them before I sent her off to Phoenix and I'm a man of my word, so I figured I'd better tell them something. I gave 'em all rainchecks and said we could have a big party with her up at my place next weekend. I put the dishes in the sink. Damn, it's getting full and it's only Wednesday. Maybe I should call someone, one of those Molly Maid places. Also, John hasn't been cutting down on the homework assignments, she's got 2 papers to write when she gets back and it's only Wednesday.. I hit her again, harder, almost without thinking, and her body sagged in relief.The usual feeling came over me. If you haven't felt this, it is almost impossible to explain. I was brought up to care, and cherish, and never to hurt anyone. So there was guilt, tons of guilt. A sort of sick feeling at what was going to happen. But there is excitement too, a huge up swelling inside me. And arousal. God yes. I live for this. The intensity of what is going to happen far outweighs the roughest of sex. I can't even really say it to myself – "she wants to be beaten".I slapped her again, harder still, and her face changed ... Her eyes, there is nothing to describe them. Excitement, a reflection of my need, the sadness fading. I pulled her very softly towards me, and kissed her lightly. Again she didn't really respond. So I pulled her harder into me, One hand behind her shoulder blades, cradling her into my arm, and my other hand landed hard on her bottom, through the summer dress. Her breath.
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